Our true selves reflect the world we live in. Hence, what concrete message do we deliver to the world today?

I grew up in an environment and culture that applauded conformity, and any deviation from the norm was severely and quickly punished. ‘Uncles’ could touch me inappropriately after leading prayers in church, and ‘aunties’ could report me for crimes that I did not commit in the name of social propriety. ‘Friends’ could treat me like toilet paper for being the wrong color, and ‘teachers’ could dismiss me for questioning the system. And in this atmosphere, I grew up not being allowed to explore who I really was or what I really felt. Navigating the expectations of others became my normal. As decades slipped by and social media raised narcissism to a well-paid art, my real self slid into even darker recesses, and I have had to claw my way out of that hiding place where I only shone as much as others polished me.

Somewhere along the way came the realization that it was okay to be my imperfect self. To have breakups, to have failures, to have health issues and lousy bosses and horrid family members, and to not measure myself by anyone else’s expectations of what I should be. It was slow…this realization process. But today, it’s easy to pay compliments to another woman, pardon another soul without giving way to hate, to see good in someone who has harmed me, and have compassion for an alternate viewpoint. And I can do this because despite the plethora of naysayers that have compromised the majority of my socio-psychological influences, I sometimes ran into people who loved me so authentically that I wasn’t afraid to be myself around them. I could collapse into a hormonal mess, or spend three days in pyjamas around them, or be utterly imperfect in all sorts of annoying ways… and they allowed me to be that way without any judgement. And that in turn propelled me into being a healer, for these people taught me a powerful lesson about being authentic and holding space for others without compromising my own well-being.