This particular piece is written as I sit on an airplane enroute to Chicago from Dubai. A long 14-hour journey and nothing to do… for a person like me who likes to be constantly on the move, this is painful.
Painful… did I just feel that? Yes, indeed I did!
Since when did a day spent doing nothing become a pain? Since when did having some time to yourself, even if it’s sitting on a plane, become a pain? Since when did a break from the madness of daily chores become a pain?
And then followed a train of thoughts… Have the pressures of work and life robbed me of ‘being in the moment’? Have I become too busy to put into schedule mindful rituals like self-reflection, journalling, and meditation? Have I forgotten to practice what I believe in so strongly, which is ‘rejuvenate to recharge to reach for your dreams’? Have I become so engrossed in daily living that even restful moments that come to me by default seem to be something that I dread?
Where have I, along the way, forgotten what it feels like to be ‘truly living’?
A little deeper introspection got me to recognize that I have been caught and trapped in what we know as the ‘Monkey Mind’. The constant chatter that goes on in the mind indiscriminately that dims the achievements and enlarges the failures. The voice in the head that emphasizes the doubts rather than the beliefs. The prick in the head that deflates the balloon of courage and blows up the heat on fears.
For someone like me who is overly positive and optimistic about life and having battled and risen above some really hard decisions taken, and challenges faced, it was a bit of a shocker that I have fallen prey to this phenomenon that is not only running, but also ruining, my life in some ways. The past two years I have been figuring out solutions to get me back on track. I knew there was something amiss. I just couldn’t put a finger on it. Now I think I have. I was taking all the right actions that were required – strategize, plan, and execute. I was doing it with a lot of perseverance too, a vital key to success. But I was doing all this without first shutting the opposing voice in my head that negated and nullified all that was being done. The incessant jabber, the constant yada-yada, the unending ramble of ‘what-ifs’ and ‘buts’.
I wonder where and how this crept in. Regardless of when and how it did, I believe it must stop now. It’s time to reverse the unconscious self-sabotage of falling in a negative spiral and rise up again. The Monkey Mind does not get to dictate. Period! This is easier said than done, but not impossible though. Of this I am certain. The pain of change is any day preferable over the pain of suffering, and it certainly is a choice that comes with a better outcome.
Is there a monkey in your mind too? One that is constantly jabbering and making you doubt your own potential and success. Then it’s time to take charge and control back and to begin ‘truly living’ again!